Entrepreneurship

Once upon a time I had an HR manager who just got it. Somehow she always managed to get the balance right: she just seemed to know instinctively how to deal with difficult people, and how to steer the course that was right for the business and right for the employee.

Ok, so I'm lying. In fact, I've never even met an HR person like this. And to be honest, I'm starting to think that I've got more chance of catching the Loch Ness Monster than I have of ever finding one.

It's not that we find it hard to attract great candidates: everyone we interview seems to be likeable, enthusiastic and impeccably qualified. And that doesn't really surprise me - if you're the kind of person who likes the idea of HR, working in a small company like ours must be pretty appealing. You get more variety and less admin than you would in a big company; nobody will really know if you're terrible at it, and you still get to do all the warm and fuzzy stuff.

The problem is that they always turn out to be awful. They never seem to get that it’s not their job to be everyone's friend – it’s to take decisions that are in the best interests of my business, even if that conflicts with the finer feelings of an individual employee. So usually, we end up falling out.

I've got a theory about this. Entrepreneurs tend to be evangelists about their business - and the best ones inspire other people to think the same way. Bringing people with you comes naturally to a good entrepreneur, so they’re usually a bit sceptical about the kind of formal processes that HR people are so keen on. Plus of course entrepreneurs and HR types tend to be polar opposites when it comes to risk.

And I suppose that’s really the problem: I just don’t really get HR people (people hassles are the most tedious part of the job – who chooses to do it full-time?) and they never really get me. So we tend to drive each other round the bend. Take my present one: nicest girl you’ll ever meet – patient, kind-hearted, generous to a fault, always willing to see the good in people (all the things I'm not, basically) – but mad as a bucket of a frogs, and a total drama queen.

I’ll never forget the day she set me into a panic by demanding an urgent meeting (‘urgent’ in red and underlined), only to inform me that one of the salespeople had told her in the pub the previous night that he didn’t think he got paid enough. I nearly choked on my frappucino. There was I with my finger on the speed-dial to my lawyer, imagining all kinds of nightmare scenarios, and she’s getting in a flap about something that as business priorities go, was significantly below buying new toilet roll for the girls’ loo.

I’m sure there are great HR people out there – commercially-minded, pragmatic, level-headed – it’s just that they seem to keep their distance from me. Maybe that ought to tell me something...

Previous Secret Diary entries:
25.07.08: About Me
01.08.08: Bad debts
08.08.08: Partnership troubles
15.07.08: Dealing with difficult people